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Valentine's Day!

Updated: Oct 18, 2022

Ahhh.. This valentine... every year is the same... oh.. I hear some booooooos.. ok ok.. let me get lovey dovey for you guys!

Since we are on this earth, we are given social goals. Study, secure a financial autonomy, have a conditioned family, maybe give some back to the community and then perish! But we all, especially, in the midlife stage are looking for something more. Why are we so addicted to social media, sending friend requests to strangers, trying to grab attention of someone we think is ideal and even thought of escaping from the ideal life to a crazy life with some stranger for few quality moments?

Tell me one thing, did you ever experience that comfort while talking to a stranger, that you couldn't even talk to your partner? You suddenly feel oh my, maybe I should have waited. By chance I sent her a Facebook friend request, she accepted. And now when I pinged her after 45 days of patience, she replied. It’s such a beautiful feeling. Am I 18 again? I can talk so freely with her.

It’s the CONNECT! We are in search of a place where we can be what we are, the safe space where we won't be judged, somewhere you let go and just be in a raw state of vulnerability.

You know why this happens? Because there is a big difference between when we commit to full partnership vs having a 45 minutes chat with that beautiful stranger. When we commit, we tailor our persona and also the image of another person. We shape it to a being which is actually not you but which you want everyone to see. Carefully hiding broken corners, pushing trash under the mat. And voila, you get into a relationship and also may get married. But the truth is you can't cut yourself forever it’s just some temporary mask you wore and sew the 'unlikable real you' and hide it underneath. By the way, this unlikable real you is also not you. It’s just your fears, insecurities. And the more you suppress them, the stronger they become.

So, in the case of this beautiful stranger, you just become the real you because even if she doesn't like you or judge you, you will just make a new friend!!!

So dear friends now for the good part, maintaining the beauty in a permanent partnership is tough but possible. This connection which you are searching everywhere ( as you are still not sure if your true self will be accepted by your partner ), can actually exist in your existing, amazing, strong long-term relationship. How? Let me reveal the secret! Through real connection. This Real connection is connecting through the truth. Your truth and your partner's truth. Just throw away masks for each other and show your true raw form. However bad you think it is, just show your true self and not the strong persona you created. You give the benefit of doubt to a stranger, doesn't your partner deserve a chance?

But mind you, the other person may get washed literally by your true self. As dealing with truth is always not easy to digest and takes effort. No pain, No gain, right? And when they are courageous enough, so much in love with you and accept you as you are, they will stay. This will release the burden on the relationship, which creates pressure to be the perfect one. But, also it is your job to give them the same space as they have given to you. You can't judge them if you don't want to be judged. Accept their true self instead of the perception you want and give your true self. And trust me, once you stand strong on this truth connection, no one can damn jinx your amazing beautiful partnership!!!

Blog by - Ms. Neha Mogre

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