Pouring from a Full Cup

Hello to all the therapists out there. How are you doing?

I am quite sure that your response is something like “I am good,” or “I am doing fine,” or “I am doing well!”. So I am going to ask you again, “How are you REALLY doing?” 

I am Nishita Vaswani, your fellow therapist at DhairyaDa Center for Psychological Well-Being. Here in this blog, I am going to call YOU out on how you are ignoring your self-care and help you navigate how you can better take care of yourself while being a good therapist.  

It is both a paradox and an irony that therapists who are there for numerous individuals professionally (clients) as well as personally (family and friends) so many times fail to be there for themselves. You already know the importance of self-care and how the lack of the same can affect an individual. While you are there to psycho-educate, help your clients overcome and/or manage issues in their lives, and take better care of themselves, why is it that you have difficulties following your advice?

Here are a few reasons why I think you may have difficulty taking care of yourself. 

1. Emotional and mental exhaustion - Heavy client sessions and long working hours lead to emotional exhaustion, which is the most common symptom of therapist burnout. You may feel constantly tired, anxious, or mentally overwhelmed, making it difficult to be fully present with clients. This cognitive overload can impair your memory and focus, reducing the quality of care that you provide your clients. 

2. Compassion fatigue and vicarious trauma - The intense emotional labor of holding space for clients’ pain and trauma can pile on, causing compassion fatigue leaving you feeling emotionally drained and less able to empathize. Prolonged exposure to clients’ traumatic experiences can also lead to vicarious trauma, where you can experience secondary trauma symptoms yourself. 

3. Your passion towards your profession - Shocked to see your passion as a reason too? Yes it's harsh but unfortunately true. While you’re passionate about being there for others in their time of need, you may also be very used to putting yourself and your own needs last or completely out the window too! 

4. Decreased job satisfaction and sense of accomplishment – Like any other career, we therapists also experience highs and lows. Over time, especially if you are facing a lot of lows, you may begin to doubt your impact or question your career choice, feeling ineffective or unfulfilled. This can lead to thoughts of leaving clinical work for other roles or exiting the profession entirely.

5. Physical and mental health decline - Unchecked burnout and stress can contribute to depression, anxiety, fatigue, social withdrawal, and other health problems. The cumulative toll may also increase risks of stress-related illnesses, impact your relationships and overall reduce your quality of life.

6. Work-life imbalance - Therapists often struggle to balance the emotional demands of their work with personal life, especially when there is a constant pressure to be available to clients or due to administrative burdens. This imbalance further increases your burnout risk.

7. Lack of boundaries and difficulty in saying NO - While you may teach your clients to be assertive and draw boundaries, it's time that you apply that assertiveness training to yourself as well and draw your own boundaries wherever deemed necessary. 
   

While you’re already aware of the signs and symptoms of burnout and you can see it in others, you may fail to observe the same in yourself (maybe because you’re so close to seeing the big picture). A therapist who is experiencing burnout is causing harm to themselves and all the more to their clients too because they are not able to be fully present among other things and do justice to their clients. Before you reach the point of complete burnout, here are some ways in which you can inculcate better self-care practices for yourself as a therapist. 

Work boundaries and scheduling

• Setting clear working hours and sticking to them. Avoid doing any professional work outside of these working hours.

• Limit the number of clients or sessions that you have in the day to avoid over workload. Depending on how many hours you work in the day, I think the maximum (healthy) number of clients a therapist can see in a day is 5-6 clients.

• Scheduling regular breaks between sessions is crucial for you to mentally, emotionally and physically unwind from the session you just had, take some time for yourself to get a breather and then prepare for the next session. Basically, you shouldn’t be running from one session into another without unwinding and taking a breather for yourself. 

• Say “NO” assertively to additional responsibilities when your schedule is full. Putting yourself first when your plate is already full is paramount to your self-care.

• Use a calendar to block out personal time for non-work activities. Your non-work activities can be anything that you enjoy doing and everything that makes you feel relaxed.
  

Daily Micro-Practices

• Take “micro” breaks to pause, breathe, and reset between clients.

• Step outside for fresh air or a change of scenery during your workday.

• Practice self-compassion and speak kindly to yourself, especially after challenging days.

  
  

Physical self-care

• Prioritise sleep by maintaining a consistent bedtime routine.

• Eat balanced, nutritious meals and practice mindful eating. 

• Stay hydrated throughout the day. (Minimum 2.5 to 3 litres)

• Incorporate regular physical activity, such as walking, yoga, or stretching.

• Take short walks or do light exercises during breaks. (A while ago I personally started doing 5-10 squats and basic stretching exercises after every session. It helps!)
  

Mental and Emotional Wellness

• Attend your own therapy or supervision sessions regularly. You know the power of catharsis. Use that power for your own needs too!

• Practice mindfulness or meditation daily, even for just 5–10 minutes.

• Engage in deep breathing exercises between or after sessions.

• Journal thoughts and feelings to process work-related stress.

• Reflect on positive work experiences and your professional strengths from time to time. (I would suggest doing this practice monthly at least)
  

Social Support

• Connect with colleagues for peer support or debriefing.

• Maintain regular contact with friends and family for emotional support. (Just simply letting your family member/ spouse or a friend know that you have had a long, hard day can go a long way too!)

• Join or form a professional support group or consultation team.

• Seek mentorship or supervision for guidance and accountability.
  

Personal Interests and Hobbies

• Dedicate time to hobbies or creative pursuits unrelated to therapy.

• Explore new interests or activities to stimulate your mind and foster joy.

• Spend time in nature or care for plants to reduce stress.

• Read books or engage in activities purely for pleasure.

Most of the tips that you read above are tips or techniques that you may have recommended to your clients in different ways to suit their needs. Well, I think that these tips and reminders are what you need, and I genuinely hope that you do take that time for your self-care. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup. So please, spend some time on your self-care and refill your cup too.

-Nishita Vaswani